Thirty-Something and Still Dating by @OnlineDateCoach

It’s not easy being thirty-something and still dating. Since reaching my thirties, the pressure to get hitched and have kids of my own has grown significantly. But only some of the pressure I feel comes from within because I’m in no big rush to walk down the isle just yet, although I would like to. I think most of the pressure I feel to be married now is coming from my close friends and family wanting it for me.

Friends who know me best ask why I’m still dating

“A pretty girl like you, how come you haven’t found yourself a nice guy to settle down with yet?” That’s what I hear from some of my closest friends. Now don’t get me wrong, I do look forward to being married and having a family one day soon but it makes me cringe a little every time I hear the word “settle.” I never want to feel like I settled for someone or something in my life, just to have it.

I believe most girls growing up, myself included, daydream of what their wedding would be like. I would try to imagine who it would be standing there, at the end of the isle, looking and waiting for me to walk down to him.  He would seem so familiar yet still such a mystery to me. With that said; I still don’t believe that merely wanting it to happen will speed up my search for him.

I know firsthand how hard it is to find Mr. Right. As I watch most of my friends get married, start to have kids, and then have even more kids, here I stay still dating Mr. Right Now. And I sometimes ask myself if I’m being too picky or too selfish maybe, but I really don’t think I am. I’m just not settling.

My mother doesn’t help. She says to me, “Find someone, will ya… put a little more make-up on and fuff your hair this way. You can find any man to marry you, just find him quick so I can see my grand babies before I die.” I hear it all the time and it really makes me laugh out loud; she thinks by putting some lipstick on everything will work itself out. And wouldn’t it be nice if that were all it took. So I smile and say back to my dear Mother, “Just any man won’t do, Ma. It’s going to take The Man to make it right.”

The reason why I’m still dating isn’t because I can’t find a man

It’s really not that difficult to find any date. It’s not even difficult to find someone to have any relationship with. And if you really want to get married, I’m sure you can find yourself any guy out there to marry you too. But it’s finding The Man who’s right for Me, that’s what I’m after. That’s why I’m still dating.

I don’t need to have a relationship (or a husband) in my life for me to live happily ever after. I need to have the right relationship. I can’t wait to find The Man I love, admire, and respect. But until I do, I will continue to enjoy my life, the people, and the things I have in it right now.

Love is out there; I have to look for it. But I don’t have to wait for it to arrive at my doorstep in order to be happy or make my friends and family happy for me. I’ll just love myself in the meantime because I know my life could change quickly.

How do you deal with being thirty-something and still dating?

Who or what in your life pressures you most to be married?

Ever marry the wrong man because you thought it was the right time?

Share your experience by leaving a comment below.

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